I'm really into asian looking animals
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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