Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I have fence marks all over my body
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
