I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
