another moral hangover. fuck.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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