READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
