You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
