They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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