Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
