You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
