yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
