My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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