My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
