I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
