Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
