Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
