have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
