she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
