i don't like sucking hair
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
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