Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
