I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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