Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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