Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
