We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
