He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
