Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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