i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i love accidental penises.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
