New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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