He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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