But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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