we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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