I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
