I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
