I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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