too bad you live with your parents still
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
