And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
