Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
