this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
