Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
