addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
