I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
