did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
