That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
