Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i believe in u and ur pee
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
