Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
