So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
