If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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