THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
