I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
