so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
