I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
