Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
