Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
